Pillot,   Joseph  Eugene. 
Two  crooks  and  a  lad\i 


PN 

6120 

.A52 

P558 

1917 


Digitized  by 

the  Internet  Archive 

in  2015 

) 


https://archive.org/details/twocrooksandlady01pill 


Punch's  Intesnational  Copyughtkd  (in  England^  hi 
Colonies^  and  the  United  States)  Edition  of 
THE  Works  of  the  Best  Authors. 


2 

O 

I 

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TWO  CROOKS  AND 
A  LADY 


A  PLAY  IN  ONE  ACT 
BY 

EUGENE  PILLOT 


New  York 
SAMUEL  FRENCH 

PUBUSHEB 

25  West  45th  Street 


London 
SAMUEL  FRENCH,  Ltd, 
26  Southampton  Stsxbt 
STRAND 


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«B  RECOGNITION  SCENE  FROM 
>>  ANASTASIA 


APOLLO  OF  BELLAC 
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r       HEATHEN  PIONEER 
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PERFECT  GENTLEMAN.  THE 


TWO  CROOKS  AND 
A  LADY 

A  PLAY  IN  ONE  ACT 
BY 

EUGENE  PILLOT 


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25  West  45th  Street  NEW  YORK  10036 

7623  Sunset  Boulevard  HOLLYWOOD  90046 

LONDON  TORONTO 


Copyright  ®,  1917  by  Eugene  Pillot 

Copyright,  1918,  by  Brentano's  (In  Volume)  Plays 
of  the  47  Workshop  I 

Copyright,  1946  (In  Renewal)  by  Eugene  Pillot 

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Printed  in  U.S.A. 
ISBN  0  573  62550  0 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY  * 

By  Eugene  Pillot 

*  Note :    The  author  acknowledges  his  indebtedness  to 
short  story,  "Fibre,"  by  Richard  Washburn  Child,  which  sug 
gested  the  play. 


CHARACTERS 


Miller,  The  Hawk. 
Lucille,  his  accomplice, 
Mrs.  Sims- Vane. 
Miss  Jones,  her  companion 
Police  Inspector. 
Garrity,  a  policeman. 


TWO  CROOKS  AND 
A  LADY 

Scene:  Library  in  the  old  Fifth  Avenue  mansion 
of  Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  It  is  an  old-fashioned 
thorougMy  substantial  room  and  an  ideal  setting 
for  its  owner.  French  windows,  overlooking 
Fifth  Avenue  and  extending  to  the  floor,  are  in 
the  middle  of  the  rear  wall.  Bookcases  on  each 
side  of  them  extend  to  a  door  at  rear  right  and 
to  a  writing  desk  at  left  front.  There  is  a  chair 
near  the  window,  one  by  the  table,  and  one  by 
the  desk.  Prominent  among  the  usual  desk  fit- 
tings must  be  a  small  gold  stamp  box.  A  waste- 
taper  basket  stands  beside  the  desk,  in  full  view 
of  the  audience.  Several  porcelain  vases  are 
placed  about  the  room.  A  long  library  table, 
holding  two  brass  candlesticks,  is  at  right  front. 
Just  above  it,  on  the  right  wall,  a  large,  long  mir- 
ror hangs  so  that  it  reflects  the  opposite  side  of 
the  room. 

Place:  New  York  City. 

Time:  The  present.  About  three  o'clock  on  a  rainy 
afternoon. 

The  curtain  rises  on  an  empty  stage,  rather  dark  be- 
cause of  the  rainy  day  and  the  drawn  curtains 
The  French  window  in  the  rear  opens  cautious 
and  Miller  stealthily  slips  into  the  room 
3 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


He  is  a  tall,  handsome  man — the  usual  type  of 
gentleman  crook  who  has  emerged  from  the  bot- 
tom of  his  nefarious  profession.  He  wears  a 
dark  raincoat  and  a  soft  black  hat,  pulled  down 
a  little  over  his  eyes.  As  he  starts  to  advance 
into  the  room,  approaching  footsteps  are  heard 
off  right.  Frightened,  he  slips  behind  the  heavy 
curtains  at  the  window. 

Lucille  enters  from  the  door  at  right.  She 
is  in  the  conventional  white  apron  and  cap  of  a 
well-groomed  parlor  maid.  She  stops  for  a  mo- 
ment to  tidy  the  table,  glances  up  at  the  mirror, 
and  starts  to  make  a  slight  readjustment  of  her 
cap.  Suddenly  she  realises  that  it  is  too  dark 
for  her  to  see,  goes  to  the  windozv,  and  quickly 
ptdls  back  the  curtains,  flooding  the  room  with 
light  and  revealing  Miller.  The  moment  she 
sees  Miller,  she  jumps  back  frightened. 

Lucille.    ( In  a  loud  voice )   Miller ! 

Miller,  (Frightened,  he  comes  forward  cau- 
tiously)   Don't  shout ! 

LuciLiJE.    You  nearly  scared  the  life  out  of  me! 

Miller.  Don't  tell  it  to  the  whole  house. 
(Glances  toward  door.)    Lucille,  anybody  about? 

(Throughout  the  following  scene,  Lucille  and 
Miller  give  their  lines  quickly,  feverishly,  for 
they  fear  that  they  may  be  interrupted  at  any 
moment.) 

Lucille.  Not  yet ;  but  they  wheel  Mrs.  Simms- 
Vane  in  here  every  afternoon.  You're  not  safe 
here!    (Tries  to  hurry  him  to  the  window.) 

Miller.  (Catching  her  by  the  arm)  Quick! 
Where  does  she  keep  the  Thirty-three? 

Lucille,  ( Carelessly,  as  she  jerks  her  arm  away) 
Why  should  I  tell  you? 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY  5 


Miller.    Going  to  hog  the  necklace  yourself 
'stead  of  divvying  up  with  me,  huh? 
Lucille.  No. 

Miller.  Then  whRt  the  hell's  the  matter  with 
you? 

Lucille.  You've  been  taking  that  Minnie  out 
again ! 

Miller.   Naw,  I'm  on  the  level  with  you. 

Lucille.    ( Scornfully )    Huh ! 

Miller.  Didn't  I  say  we'd  get  married  soon's  we 
cop  the  necklace  ? 

Lucille.    (Arrogantly)    I  know  you  said  that. 

Miller.  Then,  what's  in  your  craw?  Jealous 
again  ? 

Lucille.  Why  not?  I've  got  everything  staked 
on  you ! 

Miller.  And  you  can  play  it  for  all  it's  worth. 
It'll  take  both  of  us  to  steal  the  Thirty-three. 

Lucille.    Miller,  it's  a  wonderful  necklace. 

Miller.   Worth  forty  thousand  dollars. 

Lucille.  Thirty-three  blue- white  diamonds. 
Wouldn't  think  an  old  dame  would  be  so  stuck  on 
it! 

Miller.    No  more  than  we  are.    (Nudges  her 
affectionately.)    Now,  where  does  she  keep  it? 
Lucille.   In  this  room  ! 
Miller.   This  room? 

Lucille.  Yes,  they  say  she  comes  in  here  to  look 
at  it ;  but  no  one's  ever  seen  her  do  it ! 

Miller.  Good  enough;  we'll  cop  it  this  very 
afternoon ! 

Lucille.   How  ? 

Miller.    Listen,  this  is  the  dope. 

Lucille.    ( Eagerly )  Uh-huh. 

Miller.  Servants  are  ofiF  to-day,  'cept  you,  the 
cook,  and  the  eld  dame's  companion.  Cook's  way 
down  in  the  kitchen — and  I've  fixed  it  to  get  th« 
companion  away. 


6 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


Lucille.  How? 

Miller.  Dennis  is  across  the  street — watching 
this  window. 

Lucille.  Why? 

Miller.  When  the  time's  ready,  I'll  signal  him 
with  this  handkerchief  and  right  oif  the  phone  here 
will  ring.   You  answer  it. 

Lucille.    (Puzzled)   Wliat's  the  game  ? 

Miller.  Dennis  is  going  to  send  fake  message — 
something  about  a  phony  check — that'll  get  Miss 
Jones  out  of  the  house.  Want  you  to  answer  the 
phone  so 's  to  be  sure  it's  Dennis.  Then  call  her,  un- 
derstand ? 

Lucille.  Yes ! 

Miller.   After  that  it'll  be  plain  sailing. 

Lucille.  But  Dennis'll  want  some  of  the  boot 
for  doing  that? 

Miller.  Naw,  I  promised  him  a  tenner  if  he'd 
send  the  phone  message  and  then  beat  it  to  the  sta- 
tion and  get  a  couple  of  tickets  for  us.  (Murmur 
of  voices  from  off  right.) 

Lucille.  Oh,  they're  coming  now.  Better  get 
away  in  a  hurry!    (Miller  runs  to  the  window.) 

Miller.    Don't  forget  to  answer  that  phone ! 

Lucille.  I  won't !  They're  almost  here !  Hurry 
up  and  get  out ! 

Miller.    No,  I'm  going  to  stay  right  here. 

Lucille.    But  they'll  see  you! 

Miller.  No,  they  won't.  I'll  slide  behind  this 
curtain.  (He  slips  behind  one  of  the  window  cur- 
tains, which  remain  partly  open.  He  is  completely 
concealed.  Lucille  p^^etends  to  arrange  articles  on 
the  desk,  furtively  glancing  at  right  door.) 

(From  right  enter  Miss  Jones,  pushing  an  invalid's 
chair  in  which  is  seated  Mrs.  Simms-Vane.J 

(Miss  Jones,  the  paid  compamon  of  Mrs.  Simms- 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY  7 


Vaxe,  is  a  rather  dull,  systematic  English  wo- 
man, not  in  the  least  understanding  her  mistress, 
but  as  a  result  of  long  sen/ice,  obeying  her  to 
the  letter.  Mrs.  Simms-Vane,  a  hopeless  para- 
lytic f or  twenty  years,  cannot  move  her  chin  a 
quarter  of  an  inch  to  left  or  right.  Her  body  is 
rigid;  her  cheeks  are  webbea  with  the  fine 
wrinkles  of  the  years;  her  eyes  are  beautiful 
zvith  patience;  and  her  mouth  is  lovely  with  the 
firmness  of  suffering.  Once  very  beautiful,  she 
is  nozi',  at  the  age  of  sixty,  as  inert  as  a  faded 
flozi'er.  SJie  wears  a  rich  but  simple  dress  of 
black  silk  with  white  lace  at  the  throat,  ^hss 
JoxES  zchecls  the  chair  to  left  center,  somewhat 
to  rear,  and  facing  the  table  and  the  mirror  on 
the  right  wall.  She  lifts  one  of  the  invalid's 
hands  and  places  it  so  thai  it  rests  easily  on  the 
arm  of  Jicr  chair.  As  she  goes  to  the  otJicr  side 
of  the  cJiair  and  arranges  the  otJier  hand  in  a 
similar  manner,  jMiller^  with  his  eye  on  ]\Iiss 
Jones  and  zvatched  by  Lucille,  silently  steps 
from  behind  the  curtain,  glances  out  the  win- 
dozv,  gives  a  quick  zvave  of  his  handkerchief — 
the  signal  to  the  unseen  Dennis — and  slips  be- 
hind the  curtain  again  without  being  seen  by 
either  Miss  Jones  or  TvIrs.  Simms-Vane.  j 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    (As  Miss  Jones  starts  to 

make  a  slight  adjustment  of  the  old  lady's  head 
against  the  back  of  her  chair)  No,  to  the  right. 
(Miss  Jones  moz'es  the  head  slightly.)  Too  much. 
More  to  the  left.  (^Iiss  Jones  moves  the  head 
again.) 

]\Iiss  Jones.  May  I  ask  why  you  always  want 
your  head  faced  that  way? 

^Irs.  Simms-Vane.  (Coolly  amused)  You  may 
ask. 


8  TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


(Mrs.  Simms-Vane's  tone  causes  Miss  Jones  to 
step  back  abashed,  and  she  does  not  venture  the 
question.  The  telephone  on  the  desk  rings. 
Miss  Jones  starts  toward  it;  but  Lucille  has 
already  picked  it  up.) 

Lucille.    I'll  answer  it,  Miss  Jones.  (Speaks 

into    the    telephone)     Hello   Yes   Yes! 

( Glances  in  direction  of  Miller.J  All  right,  I'll  call 
her.  (Turns  to  Miss  Jones.J  It's  for  you,  Miss 
Jones. 

Miss  Jones.    Thank  you.    ( Goes  to  telephone.) 

Hello   Yes   Oh,  is  that  so?    Very  well. 

I'll  be  right  down  to  see  about  it.  Thank  you.  Good- 
bye. (Hangs  up  the  receiver  and  goes  to  Mrs. 
Sim  MS- Vane.  J  Mrs.  Simms-Vane,  that  was  the 
Empire  National  Bank  on  the  phone. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Yes? 

Miss  Jones.  The  cashier  has  discovered  what 
appears  to  be  an  alteration  in  a  check  you  gave 
Andrews,  the  grocer.  They  asked  me  to  go  im- 
mediately to  their  down-town  offices ;  and  I  told  them 
I  would. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.   Very  well. 

Miss  Jones.  (To  LucilleJ  You  will  remain  here 
with  Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  There  will  be  nothing  to 
do  for  her.  ( Goes  to  the  door  at  right  where  she 
turns  and  says  to  Lucille )  Even  though  it  is  rain- 
ing, she  will  take  her  daily  ride  at  four  as  usual.  By 
that  time,  probably,  I  shall  return. 

Lucille.  (With  a  superior  air)  Very  good,  Miss 
Jones. 

(Exit  Miss  Jones.  A  momenfs  silence,  then  an  out- 
side door  closes.  Miller  steps  out  from  behind 
the  curtain  and  beckons  for  Lucille  to  come  to 
him.  She  does  so  and  together  they  step  out 
into  the  room  and  look  threateningly  at  Mrs. 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


Simms-Vane  for  a  moment.  They  are  now  in 
her  range  of  vision  and  she  stares  at  them  zmth- 
out  the  flicker  of  an  eyelash.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Calmly)  Lucille,  who  is 
this  gentleman?  (Lucille  fidgets.)  Why  is  he 
here?    (Lucille  becomes  more  nerz^cus.) 

Miller.  (Brushing  past  LucilleJ  Lll  do  the 
talking ! 

IvIrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  fear,  Lucille,  that  I  have 
been  mistaken  in  you. 

Miller.  (To  Mrs.  Simms-VaneJ  Now,  there'll 
be  no  nonsense ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    I  think  I  understand. 

Miller.    Better  for  you.  if  you  do ! 

]\Irs.  Simms-Vane.  Sir,  will  you  kindly  step 
forward  three  or  four  steps  ? 

Miller.    What  for? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  am  unable,  because  of  my 
infirmity,  to  turn  my  head ;  and  I  prefer  to  talk  look- 
ing into  the  eyes. 

Miller.  (Stepping  in  front  of  Mrs.  Simms- 
Vane  )  We'll  not  have  much  talk.  ( Quickly,  to 
LucilleJ  You  mind  that  door.  (Points  to  door, 
which  Lucille  closes  as  ^Iiller  goes  to  the  tele- 
phone and  cuts  its  green  cord.  Resuming  his  posi- 
tion in  front  of  Mrs.  Simms-Vane. J  Naw,  Mrs. 
Simms-Vane,  Lll  tell  you  why  Lm  here. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Yes? 

TvIiLLER.  I  come  for  the  Thirty-three,  and  you're 
going  to  tell  me  where  it  is. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Slight  surprise)  So  you 
call  it  the  Thirty-three  f 

Miller.  Needn't  pretend  you  don't  understand 
what  Lm  talking  about.  I  ain't  got  much  time. 
Now,  where  is  it?  (Points  a  menacing  finger  at 
Mrs.  Sim  MS- Vane's  face.    She  merely  smiles  and 


10         TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


looks  at  him  without  making  the  slightest  move- 
ment.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Firmly,  hut  softly)  Sir, 
you  have  made  a  mistake  to  come  here. 

Miller.    Mistake?    Ha!    (Halfway  laughs.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  It  is  true  that  I  am  a  help- 
less invalid  and  cannot  call  for  assistance;  but  there 
is  that  which  will  cause  you  to  fail.  You  shall  have 
a  disaster. 

Lucille.  (As  she  comes  to  Miller,  frightened) 
Oh,  Miller,  what  does  she  mean  ? 

Miller.  (Ignores  Lucille.  Speaks  sneeringly 
to  Mrs.  Simms-VaneJ  You  mean  you'll  call  on 
God?   Well,  my  nerve's  good  for  that  stuff. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Referring  to  LucilleJ 
Hers  is  not.  (Miller  turns  and  looks  at  Lucille, 
who  has  become  very  nervous.) 

Lucille.   It's  a  lie  !   The  old  fossil ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (A  little,  slow  smile  passes 
over  her  face  as  she  continues  in  her  calm  voice) 
Nevertheless,  I  do  not  refer  to  divine  assistance. 

Miller.   Then,  what  do  you  mean? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  think  you  will  fail,  be* 
cause  you  are  not  made  of  the  material  that  suc- 
ceeds. You  are  both  of  the  base  metals — unre- 
strained, passionate,  and  vulgar. 

Lucille.    ( Her  vanity  is  hurt )    The  idea ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Yes,  and  that  is  why  you 
made  a  mistake  to  come  into  conflict  with  me. 

Miller.   Bah ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  At  the  very  outset,  sir,  you 
made  a  mistake. 

Miller.    Mistake — what  mistake? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Almost  your  first  words  dis- 
closed the  fact  that  you  did  not  know  where  the 
necklace  is  laid  away. 

Miller.  You're  not  very  clever  yourself.  You've 
just  as  well  as  admitted  the  Thirty- three's  in  this 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY  ii 


room.  (Jerks  off  his  raincoat,  throws  it  on  the  floor, 
and  starts  to  search  for  the  Thirty-three  among  the 
papers  in  the  writing-desk  drawers.  Lucille  still 
keeps  guard  at  the  door.  I\Irs.  Simms-Vane,  umble 
to  turn  her  head,  stares  aJicad  at  nothing.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (After  a  pause,  in  her  same 
calm  voice)  Will  you  trust  in  one  who  has  never 
broken  her  word  to  anyone  ? 

Miller.  (Stops  suddenly  and  looks  at  Mrs. 
Simms-VaneJ    What  are  you  try-ing  to  get  at? 

I^'Irs.  Simms-\'axe.  Suppose  I  promise  to  re- 
ward you — (Luciile  starts  forward  jealously) — 
both  to  the  full?    (Lucille  sinks  hack  relieved.) 

Miller.    \\"hat  are  you  giving  us  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-\^axe.  The  necklace  is  my  most 
treasured  possession,  not  because  of  its  money  value, 
but  because  my  dear,  dead  husband  gave  it  to  me 
when  we  were  young  and  very^  happy. 

(Lucille  turns  away,  sickened  by  this  expression 
of  sentiment.) 

Miller.    WTiat's  that  got  to  do  with  us? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vaxe.  That  is  why  I  will  not  have 
it  taken  from  me. 

Lucille.    Listen  to  her  ! 

Miller.    ( Coarse  laugh )    Ha  ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Then  look  out  for  yourselves. 
I  warn  you.  (Miller  walks  hack  until  he  stands  in 
front  of  ^Irs.  Simms-Vane.  Suddenly  he  takes  a 
pistol  from  his  pocket  and  thrusts  the  muzzle  of  it 
into  her  face.) 

Miller.  (Growling)  Where's  the  thing  hid? 
(Mrs.  Simms-Vane  slowly  closes  her  eyes  and  slow- 
ly opens  them  again.  He  pushes  the  revolver  nearer 
her.)    Where's  it  hid? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Do  you  think  I  fear  that  you 
will  pull  that  trigger  ? 


12 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


Miller.  Why  wouldn't  I  ? 

Mrs.  Sim  MS- Vane.  Can  you  not  see  how  beau- 
tiful that  would  be  for  me — ^a  hopeless  invalid? 

Miller.    (Not  understanding)  Huh? 

Mrs.  Sim  MS- Vane.  But  it  is  too  much  to  hope. 
You  would  not  shoot  me. 

Miller.   I'll  soon  show  you ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Ah,  no,  that  would  make  a 
noise. 

Miller.    (Impatiently)   What  if  it  did? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Then  you  could  not  con- 
tinue your  search.  No,  I  cannot  hope  that  you  will 
pull  that  trigger. 

Miller.  (Realizing  the  truth  of  her  words,  drops 
the  pistol  to  his  side)    You're  a  tough  old  nut. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Thank  you,  sir.  That  is 
very  kind. 

Miller.  Bah!  (Then  to  Lvcillk)  Pull  out  the 
books,  girlie.   We've  got  to  frisk  the  whole  room. 

Lucille.    ( Coming  forward )   All  right ! 

Miller.  Go  through  it  systematic  and  fast;  and 
look  in  the  vases ! 

Lucille.  Yes,  yes!  (Begins  to  execute  his  com- 
mands.) 

Miller.    Remember,  she  said  it  was  "laid  away'* 
— ^that's  the  cue. 
Lucille.  Uh-huh. 


(Miller  returns  to  the  desk,  tosses  papers  and 
boxes  to  the  floor,  opens  the  stamp  box  on  the 
desk,  finds  a  locked  drawer,  and  feverishly  splin- 
ters it  open.  Lucille  is  hastily  pulling  out  the 
books  from  the  shelves  and  searching  the  wall 
behind  them  for  any  secret  hiding  place  of  the 
necklace.  The  room  is  in  a  welter  of  disorder. 
Finally,  Miller  returns  to  his  revolver  which  he 
left  on  the  table  as  he  made  his  rounds  of  the 
room,  stares  down  at  it,  and  bites  his  lips.) 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


13 


Miller.  (Growling)  Damn!  Time  wasted! 
(Looks  at  Mrs.  Simms-Vane  and  takes  a  pair  of 
steel  pliers  from  his  side  pocket,  opens  them,  and 
looks  down  at  them.)  It's  rough  work ;  but  it's  got 
to  be  done.  (Goes  to  Mrs.  Simms-Vane  and  closes 
his  hand  over  one  of  her  white  wrists.  Her  fingers 
move  a  little.)  Huh !  There's  some  feeling  in  this 
hand.  I  thought  so.  (He  slips  the  toothed  jaws  of 
the  pliers  between  the  thumb  and  forefinger  down 
upon  the  soft  flesh  in  the  crotch  of  her  thumb  and 
closes  the  pliers  upon  it.)  Now,  where's  the  necklace? 
(Mrs.  Simms-Vane  silently  stares  at  him.)  Better 
tell.  ( She  merely  closes  her  eyes.)  You  better  tell ! 
(Lucille  shudders  as  she  sees  that  he  is  squeezing 
the  pliers  in  his  tightening  grip.)  Curse  you !  Out 
with  it !    Where's  the  necklace  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  That  is  painful;  but  I  do  not 
think  pain  will  ever  be  my  master.  I  shall  not  tell 
you. 

Lucille.  Stop !  Stop,  Miller !  The  blood's  com- 
ing! 

Miller.  Let  it  come. 

Lucille.    But  she  won't  tell  I    Oh,  youVe  crush* 

ing  the  flesh  !   Stop  !    ( Starts  to  pull  him  away.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Opening  her  eyes)  Ah, 
she's  weakened  I  I  said  you  were  both  made  of  in- 
ferior stuff.  This  French  doll  of  3'ours,  sir,  was 
willing  to  see  you  torture  an  old  lady  who  cannot 
move  and  yet  a  few  drops  of  red  blood  make  her  cry 
out.  What  a  pair  you  are — all  boastfulness ;  but 
your  nerves  are  made  of  shoddy. 

(Miller  drops  the  pliers  in  his  pocket,  looks  at  Lu- 
cille, and  sneers.) 

Lucille.  (To  Miller^  Don't!  Don't  look  at 
me  like  that  I 


14        TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 

Miller.  Why  not?  The  old  dame's  right  about 
us.    ( Outside,  a  clock  strikes  three  o'clock.) 

Mrs.  Sim  MS- Vane.  (Fretfully)  It's  three.  I 
ordered  my  hot  milk  for  three. 

Miller.  (Wheeling  toward 'Lucille)  The  cook'll 
bring  it  in  ? 

Lucille.    (Sullenly)  Perhaps. 

Miller.  Quick,  then!  Go  to  the  kitchen.  Say 
she  sent  you  for  it.  I'll  take  another  look  round  the 
room.  (Lucille  shrugs  her  shoulders  and  exits. 
Miller  starts  to  search  in  the  desk  drazvers  again.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Sees  him  in  the  mirror) 
Young  man,  I  see  you're  searching  in  those  drawers 
again.    I  would  not  waste  my  time  doing  that. 

Miller.    (Startled )   Why  not  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Perhaps  I  will  tell  you  what 
you  wish  to  know. 

Miller.  What? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Come  and  stand  in  front  of 
me. 

Miller.    (He  does  so,  staring  at  her)  Well? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  You  may  be  surprised,  sir, 
to  hear  that  I  cannot  help  admiring  the  boldness  you 
have  shown  in  coming  here. 

Miller.    Aw,  what  are  you  giving  me  now  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  have  always  been  attracted 
by  ability,  wherever  it  showed  itself  and  

Miller.    (With  contempt)    Words,  words. 

Mrs  Simms-Vane.  No-o,  but  you  are  a  hand- 
some young  man,  and  it  is  a  pity  that  your  magne- 
tism and  power  should  be  thrown  away  on  such  a 
worthless  young  woman  as  Lucille. 

Miller.   Aw,  Lucille's  all  right. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    Pah!    You  saw  her  cringe! 

Miller.  Well? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  A  pretty  face — that's  all  she 
is.  And  you  are  infatuated  with  her — you  who  could 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY  15 


win  women  far  above  her  class.  She  stands  in  your 
way.    This  very  occasion  is  an  example  of  it. 

Miller.    What  are  you  driving  at  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  In  the  next  fifteen  minutes 
she  may  cost  you  forty  thousand  dollars. 

Miller.    (Leaning  nearer)    How's  it  figured? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  don't  trust  her;  but  I  could 
— ^trade  with  you. 

Miller.    Trade  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Did  it  not  occur  to  you,  sir, 
that  forty  thousand  dollars  is  very  little  to  me?  If 
I  spent  it,  it  would  be  charged  to  my  heirs. 

AIiller.  What's  that  got  to  do  with  the  Thirty- 
three  ? 

I\Irs.  Simms-Vane.  I  would  willingly  send  you  a 
check  for  the  amount,  if  you  would  go  away. 

Miller.    (Scornfully)  Huh! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  But  it  is  too  much  to  ask 
you  to  take  my  word  for  that.  However,  I  could 
take  yours. 

Miller.    ( Eagerly )    Yes  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  But  not  if  Lucille  were  in- 
volved. 

Miller.   Why  not? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  love  those  stones  the  most 
of  all  material  things — and  I  would  not  trust  them 
to  her. 

Miller.  ( Glances  toward  door,  then  leans  nearer 
to  her,  alert)    How's  that  again?   Talk  faster. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  cannot.  I  meant  that  if 
I  could  trust  you — you  alone — with  the  necklace  un- 
til I  could  arrange  to  buy  it  back  from  you,  I  would 
pay  you  more  for  it  than  its  appraised  value. 

Miller.    How  much  more? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    Twenty-five  per  cent  more. 
Miller.    I'll  do  it!    Where's  the  necklace? 
Mrs.  Simms-Vane.   But  I  fear  the  girl. 
Miller.    (Discounting  her)    Oh,  that  girl? 


i6 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Yes,  you  love  her;  and  a  man 
in  love  is  not  to  be  trusted. 

Miller.    Aw,  she's  not  the  only  girl  I  got. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  0-oh — and  still  I've  no  doubt 
you  have  even  agreed  to  share  your  gains  with  her. 

Miller.    Well  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  It  is  that  which  has  invited 
my  contempt. 

Miller.  I  never  promised  her  a  split.  Besides, 
I  know  you're  right  about  Lucille. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Then  twenty  thousand  dol- 
lars is  a  high  price  to  pay  for  this  cheap  little  crea- 
ture's favor. 

Miller.  Don't  have  to  pay  it — unless  she  knows 
I've  got  the  sparklers. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    Would  you  then? 

Miller.  Yes,  she's  a  little  wildcat,  and  she'd 
squeal  on  me. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Then  you  mean  that  you 
would  not  reveal  to  her  that  you  have  the  necklace? 

Miller.  Sure. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  You  mean  that  you  would 
give  me  the  chance  to  purchase  back  the  diamonds 
from  you? 

Miller.  Yes. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  You  mean  that  you  would 
promise  to  take  nothing  else  from  this  house? 

Miller.    Vv'hat  else  is  there? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  There  is  a  stamp  box  on  the 
writing  desk.    You  opened  it.    I  heard  its  click. 

Miller.   What  of  iO 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    It  is  made  of  solid  gold. 

Miller.  (Surprised  that  he  should  have  missed 
such  a  valuable  article,  picks  it  up  and  stares  at  it) 
Gold  ?   That  made  of  gold  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Yes. 

(Thinking  Mrs.  Simms-Vane  cannot  see  him,  he 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY  17 


starts  to  pocket  the  stamp  box.  She  sees  his 
movement  reflected  in  the  mirror  and  gives  a 
low  chuckle  of  satisfaction.  He  is  startled,  not 
quite  sure  whether  she  saw  his  action  or  not. 
Quickly,  hut  reluctantly,  he  puts  the  stamp  box 
on  the  desk.) 

Miller.  (In  an  over-generous  tone)  Well,  what 
of  it?  I'd  play  straight;  but  how  do  I  know  that 
you  

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  You  would  have  the  word  of 
Justinia  Simms-Vane.  Her  honor  has  never  been 
questioned.    It  would  last  as  long  as  your  own. 

Miller.  (Stares  at  her  a  moment)  I'm  no  fool. 
Lucille's  not  worth  the  fuss.    Where's  the  necklace? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Come  near  me.  (He  does 
so.)    Open  the  buttons  of  my  dress. 

Miller.  (Accusingly)  But  you  said  it  was  "laid 
a\\'ay." 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  chose  my  words  carefully. 
Open  my  dress. 

Miller.  ( Opens  her  dress  and  sees  the  necklace 
around  her  throat)  Judas  Garryowen !  She  wear? 
them  !    What  stones  !    What  stones  ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Take  it  quickly.  (He  doei 
so  and  at  once  begins  to  pick  the  stones  from  their 
settings.)    What  are  you  doing? 

Miller.    Aw   (He  is  too  busy  to  explain.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    I  say,  what  are  you  doing? 

Miller.    Picking  the  stones  from  their  settings. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    But  I  don't  understand  

Miller.  (Picks  out  remaming  stones)  Just  a 
way  we  have.    (Drops  chain  info  waste  basket.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.   What  was  that  noise? 

Miller.  Chain  going  into  the  basket.  I  take  no 
chances. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  But  you  will  do  me  the  favor 
to  button  my  dress.  Lucille  


i8 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


Miller.  Yes,  yes ;  but  look  at  them !  ( Gloats 
over  diamonds.)  Thirty-three  perfect  ones !  A-ah, 
what  a  handful !    Look  !    ( Holds  them  before  her.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    They  are  pretty;  but  my 

dress  

Miller.  All  right.  (Drops  stones  in  his  right 
pocket,  fastens  her  dress,  and  starts  to  adjust  her 
lace  collar.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    I  hear  Lucille  bringing  

Miller.   How  you  going  to  put  her  off  the  scent  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Leave  that  to  me.  If  you 
are  the  gentleman  I  think  you  are,  you  will  have  her 
give  me  the  milk. 

Miller.    Well ;  but  how  will  you  fix  her  ? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    Just  continue  your  search. 

Miller.    But  I've  finished  this  room  ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Then  try  the  next;  but  leave 
the  girl  to  me. 

Miller.  (Takes  out  the  diamonds,  looks  at  them 
a  moment)  All  right.  (Walks  away.)  But  don't 
you  play  any  tricks  on  me. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Sir,  that  will  depend  upon 
vou.  (He  misses  her  inference  and  starts  going 
through  the  drawers  again.  Suddenly,  Mrs.  Simms- 
Vane  hears  him  stop.  Reflected  in  the  mirror  on  the 
wall  before  her  she  sees  him  reach  for  the  gold  stamp 
box  on  the  desk,  slowly  grasp  it,  and  put  it  in  his 
pocket.    She  sighs  and  closes  her  eyes.) 

(Lucille  appears  in  the  doorway,  carrying  a  tray 
which  holds  a  tall  glass  of  hot  milk.) 

Miller.  (Seeing  Lucille^  You  got  the  milk, 
huh? 

Lucille.  Yes,  but  the  cook  wanted  to  bring  it  in 
herself. 

Miller.  Well,  I've  frisked  the  room  all  over 
again. 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


19 


Lucille.   What'd  you  find  ? 
Miller.    No  luck.   The  old  lady's  done  us. 
Lucille.    Look  some  more.    We  got  lots  more 
time. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    I  want  my  hot  milk. 

LuciLi.E.    Forget  it!     (Sets  tray  on  the  table.) 

Miller.    ( Over-generous)    No,  give  her  the  milk. 

Lucille.    ( Surprised )    What's  come  over  you  ? 

Miller.  Come  here.  (Lucille  does  so.  'Half 
whisper)  Listen,  give  her  the  milk  and  keep  her 
busy.    Do  anything. 

Lucille.    What  for? 

Miller.    I  want  to  see  if  there's  anything  worth 
picking  up  in  the  other  rooms. 
Lucille.    But  ? 

Miller.  Go  on ;  give  her  the  milk.  ( Astounded, 
Lucille  stares  at  him;  but  she  takes  the  milk  to 
Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Miller  wanders  through  the 
door  into  the  adjoining  room.  Again  and  again  his 
shadow  appears  near  the  doorway,  as  though  he  were 
zvatching  the  women.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  You  forget,  my  dear,  that  I 
cannot  move.  Put  the  glass  to  my  lips.  (Lucille 
does  so.)  A  little  nearer.  (Lucille  puts  the  glass 
nearer  Mrs.  Simms-Vane's  lips.)  The  other  side. 
(Peeved,  Lucille  glances  at  her;  but  moves  the 
glass  to  the  other  side  of  Mrs.  Simms-Vane's 
mouth.)  What's  that?  Dirt?  Is  that  dirt  in  my 
milk?  (Impatiently,  Lucille  looks  at  the  milk 
Whispering)  Do  not  show  ajiy  surprise,  Lucille. 
Keep  looking  at  the  milk. 

Lucille.    (Whispering)  Yes. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Whispering)  He  has  the 
necklace ! 

Lucille.    (Whispering)  Oh! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Whispering)  If  you  show 
him  that  you  know,  he  will  kill  you.  Don't  move! 
(Loudly)    Is  it  dirt  in  my  milk?    Look  again. 


20 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


Lucille.  I'm  trying  to  see.  (Whispering) 
You're  trying  to  make  a  fool  of  me ! 

Mrs.  Sim  MS- Vane.  (Whispering)  No,  but  he 
has  tricked  you  and  means  to  leave  you  to  your  fate. 
He  has  the  diamonds ! 

Lucille.    (Whispering)  Oh! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Whispering)  The  necklace 
without  the  stones  is  in  the  wastebasket.  The  revol- 
ver— is  on  the  table. 

Lucille.  (In  hushed  voice,  as  Miller  enters) 
Oh. 

Miller.  (Seeing  Lucille's  suspicious  attitude, 
turns  to  Mrs.  Simms-VaneJ  What  are  you  trying 
to  do — cut  Lucille  off  from  me?  (Lucille  looks 
away.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Significantly)  Did  you  find 
it — v^^hat  you  came  for? 

Miller.  (Hesitates,  then  sullenly)  No.  (Starts 
to  look  in  the  bookcases.  Lucille  sets  glass  on  the 
table,  runs  to  the  wastebasket,  looks  in,  and  utters 
a  cry  of  rage.    Miller  turns  swiftly.) 

Lucille.  You've  got  it,  you  dog!  (Both  rush 
for  the  revolver.    She  gets  it.)    Stand  back  now! 

Miller.    But,  Lucille  

Lucille.  You  double-crossed  me — after  I  loved 
you  so ! 

Miller,  Listen,  girlie,  the  old  lady's  framed  us. 
I  love  you,  girlie.  You  know  me.  You  get  your 
share !  This  was  the  only  way  I  could  get  the  neck- 
lace !    It  was  all  for  you  ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Oh,  Lucille,  you  Httle  fool! 
The  other  woman  is  the  one ! 

Lucille.    I  thought  so!    I'm  going  to  kill  you! 

Miller.    (Desperately)    I  love  you  ! 

Lucille.  Oh!  (Pained,  she  closes  her  eyes. 
Miller  seizes  a  brass  candlestick  from  the  table 
and  hurls  it  blindly  at  her,  striking  the  well  behind 
her.)    You  dog!    (She  shoots.    He  falls  to  the 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY  21 


floor.)  Oh,  what  have  I  done?  What  have  I  done? 
(Covers  he7'  face.  Outside  a  policeman's  whistle  is 
blown  twice.  Lucille  is  still  too  horrified  by  her 
crime  to  hear  it;  but  Mrs.  Simms-Vane  smiles 
knowingly  and  closes  her  eyes.) 

Mrs.  Simms-V^'axe.  I  said  it  would  be  disaster 
for  him  to  cross  me.  He  broke  his  agreement  with 
me.  He  did  not  know  that  I  could  see  him  in  the 
mirror  over  the  table  when  he  took  the  little  stamp 
box.    (Outside  tJie  police  zvhistle  again.) 

Lucille.    (Hears  whistle)    0-oh,  the  police ! 

I\Irs.  Simms-Vane.  And  now,  you  are  a  mur- 
deress ! 

Lucille.  (Running  to  her)  No!  No!  Please 
save  me ! 

Mrs.  SimmsA^ane.  I  wonder  if  you  are  really 
bad.  I  doubt  it.  You  are  too  young  to  be  put  in 
jail. 

Lucille.   You  will  save  me? 

]\Trs.  Simms-Vane.  I  shall  tell  a  little  white  lie 
for  you,  if  you  deserve  it. 

Lucille.  (Piteous  fright)  Oh,  if  you  only 
would!  (Off  right  the  doorbell  rings.  Lucille  be- 
comes more  frightened  and  glances  apprehensively 
toward  the  door.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  I  shall  say  you  shot  him  in 
defending  me.  But  we  must  hurr}- !  That  may  be 
the  police  ringing  now. 

Lucille.  Oh! 

^Irs.  SimmsA'ane,  Put  the  revolver  in  my  lap. 
(Lucille  does  so.) 

Lucille.   Oh.  I  don't  deser^-e  to  be  saved! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Never  mind.  Go  put  your 
hand  in  the  3'oung  man's  coat  pocket. 

Lucille.    Oh.  no!    Lm  afraid  to  touch  him! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Do  as  I  say.  (Reluctantly, 
Lucille  goes  to  Miller.   She  starts  to  reach  for  his 


22 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


pocket,  shudders,  and  recoils  from  him.)  The  right 
side.  (Lucille  is  startled  that  Mrs.  Simms-Vane 
shoidd  know  the  correct  pocket;  hut  she  quickly 
thrusts  her  hand  into  it.)    Do  you  feel  the  diamonds  ? 

Lucille.  (Gloating)  Yes;  here  they  are.  (As 
she  lifts  the  stones  from  Miller's  pocket,  she 
pauses,  swiftly  putting  back  a  stray  wisp  of  hair  over 
her  right  ear.) 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  Are  you  sure  you  have  all 
of  them  ? 

Lucille.   Yes ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  You  did  not  leave  a  single 
one? 

Lucille.    (Overconfident)    No,  Fmsure! 
Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    Then  count  each  one  and 
drop  it  into  my  hand. 

(Lucille  is  startled,  and  fears  that  she  has  been 
trapped,  but  quickly  recovers  her  composure.) 

Lucille.  ( Counting  the  diamonds  into  Mrs. 
Sim  MS- Vane's  hand — the  one  that  was  not  tortured 
by  MillerJ  One,  two,  three — how  wonderful  they 
are!    (Insistent  ringing  of  the  doorbell  causes  her  to 

hasten  her  counting.)    Four,  five,  six   (She 

quickly  continues  to  count  toward  thirty.) 

(The  dom'bell  has  ceased  ringing.  An  outside  door 
opens  and  closes.  A  growing  murmur  of  voices. 
A  man  e.vclaims,  "But  we  heard  a  shot  fired  T 
A  woman  replies,  ''But  it  couldn't  have  been 
here!"   The  man,  'We'll  have  a  look  anyway.") 

Lucille.  (Still  counting)  Thirty,  thirty-one, 
thirty-two — (A  pause  of  surprise) — thirty -three ! 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.  (Suspiciously)  Thirty- 
ihreef 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY         23  . 

Lucille,  (Bezi-iidered ,  hut  relicred)  Yes.  thirty- 
three. 

Mrs.  Simms-Vaxe.    Then  I  have  the  stones  my 
husband  gave  me — all  back  again  ? 
Lucille.  All 

(From  right  enter  ^Iiss  Jones,  in  hat  and  raincoat, 
follozi'ed  by  Police  Inspector.) 

Miss  Tones.    (To  Inspector)    I'll  prove  to  you 

there  was  nothing  •    (Seeing  Mrs.  Simms-Vaxe, 

rushes  to  her.)    Oh.  ^Irs.  Simms-Vane,  are  you  all 
right? 

Mrs.  Simms-\^\xe.  Yes. 

Miss  Joxes.    Nothing  has  happened? 

Mrs.  Simms-Vane.    No — evers^thing. 

(Policeman  Garrity  appears  in  the  dooriuay.) 

Garrity.  (To  ^Iiss  Joxes.  as  he  appears)  Old 
lady  safe?  (TvIiller  stirs  feebly.  Miss  Joxes  sees 
him.) 

^Iiss  Joxes.  Yes,  but.  Inspector — (Points  to 
Miller ) — look  ! 

iMiLLER.    (Feebly)    Hello,  Inspector. 

Ixspector.  (To  Garrity)  Miller,  the  Hawk! 
(To  Mrs.  Sim^.isA'axeJ  Excuse  me,  ma'am,  but 
who  shot  this  man  ? 

]\Irs.  Simms-\'axe.    The  maid. 

Lucille.    I  was  def  endin^::  her  ! 

Miller.  That's  a  lie !  The  httle  cat  w^as  the  ''in- 
side" on  this  job.  We  messed  it  up,  and  she  shot 
me.    She  thought  I  double-crossed  her. 

Lucille.  Oh,  how  he  talks !  I  never  saw  that 
man  before  in  all  my  life!  Did  I.  ?\Irs.  Simms- 
\''ane  ? 

^Irs.  Simms-Vane.  My  dear  young  woman,  I 
tried  to  give  you  a  chance.  Now  I  advise  the  of- 
ficers to  arrest  you.    You  were  his  accomplice. 

Lucille.    But  you  said — you  promised  


24 


TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 


MRb.  Sim  MS- Vane.  Certainly.  But  in  my  neck- 
lace there  were  not  the  number  of  stones  you  counted 
out  to  me.   You  kept  one. 

Lucille.   No  !   No ! 

Mrs.  Sim  MS- Vane.  Yes,  you  did.  The  necklace 
was  given  to  me  by  my  husband  on  my  thirty-fourth, 
not  my  thirty-third,  birthday.  You  thought  I  did  not 
know  the  number  of  my  own  stones ;  so  you  kept  one. 

Miller.  Ha !  That  serves  the  Httle  devil  proper. 
But  it's  just  like  her !  I  know  her  tricks  !  Look  un- 
der the  hair  over  her  ears ! 

(Inspector  and  Garrity  start  to  examine  her;  hut 
she  breaks  away  from  them.) 

Lucille.  Keep  away  from  me !  Til  give  her  the 
stone !  ( She  reaches  under  the  hair  over  her  right 
ear  and  throws  the  diamond  into  Mrs.  Simms- 
Vane's  lap.)    You  old  hag! 

Mrs.  Sim  MS- Vane.  Miss  Jones — (Miss  Jones 
comes  forward) — have  the  officers  take  these  per- 
sons away. 

(Miss  Jones  nods  to  the  officers  to  remove  Lucille 
and  Miller.  Garrity  takes  Lucille  into  his 
custody  and  they  exeunt  right.  The  Inspector 
helps  Miller  up  and  starts  toward  the  door 
with  him,  where  Miller  turns  round.) 

Miller.  (Savagely  to  Mrs.  Simms-VaneJ 
You'll  not  beat  us  again !  fTJie  Inspector  pidls  him 
out.) 

Mrs.  Sim  MS- Vane.  (Serenely  ignoring  his  re- 
mark) Miss  Jones —  (Miss  Jones  goes  nearer  to 
her,  waiting) — you  may  order  my  carriage  as  usual. 

(Miss  Jones  is  surprised,  hut  quickly  nods  assent 
and  starts  toward  the  door.) 

CURTAIN 


HE  CAME  SEEING 

Biblical  drama.  1  act.  By  Mary  P.  Hamlin. 

3  males,  2  females.  Interior.  Biblical  costumet. 

This  little  Biblical  play,  written  by  the  author  of  The  Rock, 
if  a  dramatic  presentation  of  the  story  of  a  young  man  who 
comes  under  the  personal  influence  of  Christ  and  casts  off  hiu 
earlier  b©ii©f  m  order  to  embrace  Christianity. 

I  LAY  IN  ZION 

Droma  In  verse.  1  act.  By  William  Gibson. 

4  males,  4  females.  Interior.  Costumes, 
Palestinian  and  Roman.  40  minutes. 

The  high  priest's  palace  following  the  arrest  of  Jesus.  Peter 
ccwnes  to  learn  of  his  Master's  fate.  An  old  woman  repeats  to 
him  Jesus's  prediction  that  Peter  will  deny  him  thrice  before 
the  cock  crows.  Peter's  wife  spies  in  the  courtroom,  and  re- 
ports that  Jesus  will  be  crucified.  He  is  recognized,  denies 
Jesus  thrice,  and  the  cock  crows.  Left  alone,  he  condemns 
himself  and  all  men  at  their  worst:  the  old  woman  remind* 
him  that  this  is  the  rock  the  church  must  be  built  on.  Faced 
with  a  choice  between  safety  or  crucifixicMi  in  going  to  Rome, 
Peter  chooses  Rome  and  the  cross. 

(Royalty,  $5.00.) 

WHOSOEVER  BELIEVETH 

Biblical  play.  1  act.  By  Lloyd  Corrigan. 

3  males.  Intericw. 

The  scene  is  Jerusalem,  in  the  year  of  our  Lord  33.  R  is  a 
spring  evening.  Nathan,  assisted  by  a  maimed  youth,  is  clean- 
ing up  after  the  Passover  Feast  which  has  just  been  celebrated 
by  Christ  and  His  apostles.  The  youth's  father,  who  hates  the 
Nazarene,  has  heard  of  the  affair  and  comes  to  command  his 
son  home.  In  the  ensuing  dispute  he  discloses  the  coming  be- 
trayal. The  youth's  brilliant  faith  and  miraculous  gesture 
astonish  the  father,  and  he  confesses  the  place  of  the  betrayal 
The  youth  runs  oS.  to  warn  Christ;  but  we  know  th&t  be  is 
already  too  lat& 


by  DOUGLAS  PARKHIRST 

Drama — 1  Act 
5  Female — Interior 


A  tencfer,  yet  gripping  stoiy  of  two  sisters,  Hannah 
and  Louise,  who  live  in  a  rambling,  old  house. 
Hannah  has  been  considered  peculiar  ever  since 
childhood,  when  a  missing  playmate  was  believed 
carried  off  by  gypsies.  When  Alice,  the  sisters'  little 
niece,  comes  to  live  with  them,  Hannah  fearfully 
insists  that  she  is  the  missing  child  returned.  While 
playing  in  the  attic,  Alice  is  visited  by  a  strange 
illusion,  which  almost  leads  her  to  solve  the  mystery 
of  fifty  years  ago.  Hannah,  fearing  her  long-guarded 
secret  will  be  discovered,  tries  to  silence  the  little 
girl.  It  is  this  tense,  cat-and-mouse  game  between 
the  two  that  brings  the  play  to  a  startling  climax  and 
affords  the  actors  an  opportunity  for  skillful  playing, 
while  holding  the  audience  spellbound. 


by  RICHARD  S.  DUNLOP 

A  Play  of  Ideas — 1  Act 
4  male,  2  female — No  setting  required 

A  powerful  and  touching  story,  "An  Overpraised 
Season"  won  six  out  of  nine  possible  awards  at  the 
one-act  contest  in  which  it  premiered.  Numerous 
problems  facing  today's  intelligent  and  sensitive 
adolescents  are  treated  in  the  40  minute  play,  which, 
in  episode  form,  concerns  two  boys  and  a  girl;  a 
domineering,  religiously  fanatic  mother;  and  a  selfish, 
egocentric  father.  A  narrator,  somewhat  like  the  Stage 
Manager  of  "Our  Town,"  expounds  the  philosophy  of 
the  play.  A  quality  play,  "Season"  is  designed  for 
advanced  student  performers. 


IF  MEN  PLAYED  CARDS 
AS  WOMEN  DO 

by  GEORGE  S.  KAUFMAN 

Satirical  comedy — 1  Act 
4  Men — Modern  Costumes 

A  brilliant  satire  for  men.  The  fun  of  this  comic  sketch 
is  derived  from  the  fact  that  a  group  of  men  at  the 
bridge  table  speak,  behave,  and  think  after  the  man- 
ner in  which  v/omen  are  supposed  to  conduct  their 
game. 


THE  STILL  ALARM 

by  GEORGE  S.  KAUFMAN 

Satirical  comedy — 1  Act 

5  I-T.  " — Modern  and  Fireman's  Costumes 

The  scene  is  in  the  bedroom  of  a  hotel  which  is  on  fire. 
The  fun  lies  in  the  manner  in  which  it  is  put  out.  In  the 
face  of  most  exciting  danger,  the  characters  play  in  the 
well-bred  manner  of  English  drawing-room  actors. 


WHEN  MEN  REDUCE 
AS  WOMEN  DO 

by  OTTO  KICKS 

Comedy — 1  Act 

5  Men — Modem  Costumes 

What  happens  when  a  bunch  of  men  gather  and  talk 
like  women  about  their  efforts  to  lose  weight  results  in 
a  riot  of  laughter. 


OF  POEMS  •  .  .  YOUTH,  and  SPRING 

COMEDY,  1  ACT-by  JOHN  LOGAN 
1  male,  1  female,  3  voices;  4  chorus  members 

Concerns  the  first  romance  of  a  boy  and  a  girl  In  higlr  school.  The  play's  four 
scenes  correspond  to  the  seasons  of  the  year;  and  each  season  represents  a  stage  in 
the  couple's  romance,  spring  being  when  they  meet  and  winter  when  tliey  part 
Each  season  is  introduced  by  two  small  choruses  which,  in  a  mood  of  light  humor 
and  fantasy,  tease  and  scold  and  provide  contrast  to  the  light  drama  of  the  romance 
They  also  act  incidental  roles  in  the  story  and  perform  stagehand  duties. 


BRIDGES  ...  Are  When  You  Cross  Them 

COMEDY,  1  ACT-by  MELVIN  B.  SHAFFER 
3  male,  2  female — Interior 

This  American  family  is  in  S^n  Francisco  on  another  leg  of  a  sightseeing  tour. 
Father  has  everything  laid  out  exactly  and  punctually,  so  that  tlie  city  can  be 
coveted  in  one  day.  He  does  his  sightseeing  by  telescope  from  the  hotel  window, 
but  each  of  the  other  memliers  of  the  family  is  given  assignments  and  reniiired  to 
render  reports  that  may  be  shared  with  the  others.  It's  all  very  orderly  and  by-the- 
nunihers.  Except  that  the  daughter  is  wayward.  She's  the  kind  who.  on  seeing  th« 
ocean,  stays  all  day  to  enjoy  it.  She  even  begins  to  see  things  that  aren't  there, 
like  the  Golden  Gate  Bridge.  The  unimaginative  members  of  the  family,  however, 
cannot  see  it,  and  so  flatly  state  that  it  does  not  exist 


COLUMBINE  CUM  LAUDE 

COMEDY,  1  ACT-by  LYDA  NAGEL 
3  males,  3  females — Interior 

One  fine  morning  Columbine  awakes  to  find  a  thought  in  her  head.  This  leads  tlie 
pretty  flirt,  who  has  been  pursuing  Harlequin  for  five  hundred  years,  into  the  arms 
of  a  stodgy  professor,  who  whisks  her  away  for  a  "mortarboard"  marriage.  Harlequin, 
always  so  concerned  with  himself,  is  rocked  out  of  his  boredom  by  the  discovery 
that  he  has  a  broken  heart.  With  the  aid  of  his  friend.  Pierrot.  Harlequin  recaptures 
for  a  fleeting  instant  what  he  loves,  but  has  he  truly  learned  that,  when  we  change 
what  we  most  desire,  we  destroy  it?  Only  Columbine  knows  the  answer,  and  she  will 
nevtr  tell. 


THE  APOLLO  OF  BELLAC 


COMEDY 

Adapted  by  MAURICE  VALENCY 

From  the  French  of  Jean  Giraudoux 

9  males,  3  females — Interior 

Here,  in  long  one-act  form,  is  the  quintessence  of  Giraudoux'  extraor- 
dinary imagination  and  style.  The  scene  is  set  in  an  Otticc  of  Inventions. 
(Typical  invention:  a  book  that  reads  itself.)  A  shy  girl  comes  for  a  job. 
She  is  ignored,  until  a  nondescript  little  man  from  the  town  of  Bellac 
comes  to  her  aid.  He  demonstrates  that  she  can  have  her  way  with  any 
man  if  she  will,  upon  meeting  him,  declare  that  he  is  handsome  and 
compare  him  to  the  statue  of  the  Apollo  of  Bellac  (non-existent).  This 
the  does,  beginning  hesitantly  with  the  clerk  and  working  up  most  suc- 
cessfully to  the  Chairman  of  the  Board.  The  play  is  alive  with  wry  and 
trenchant  observations.  Moral:  "The  best  career  for  a  female  is  to  be  a 
woman." 

(Royalty,  $25.00) 


A  RESOUNDING  TINKLE 

COMEDY-1  ACT 
By  N.  F.  SIMPSON 

1  male,  2  females — Interior 

It  would  be  wrong  to  say  that  nothing  surprises  the  Paradocks,  Bro  and 
Middle.  It's  just  that  they  take  in  their  stride  the  things  that  would 
surprise  us.  The  elephant  in  their  garden,  for  instance,  has  actually  been 
ordered,  but  this  year  the  shop  has  made  a  mistake  and  sent  the  wrong 
size.  Quite  obviously  they  must  find  a  name  for  it — shall  they  call  it  Mr. 
Trench  for  the  sixth  year  in  succession? — or  should  they  swap  it  with  a 
neighbor  for  a  boa-constrictor,  even  if  the  latter  does  need  lengthening. 
The  arrival  of  Uncle  Ted  does  cause  Middle  to  raise  her  eyebrows 
momentarily,  for  he  has  become  bored  with  being  a  he  and  is  now  an 
elegantly  dressed  young  woman  for  a  change.  Because  their  social  habits 
are  different  from  ours — you  are  not  offered  a  drink  by  these  Paradocks 
but  a  read  for  refreshments — their  talk  satirizes  the  life  of  suburbia,  and 
is  the  intervals  of  amusing,  turns  a  mildly  disconcerting  eye  on  all  of  us 

(Royalty,  $10.00.) 


#177 


HANDBOOK 

for 

THEATRICAL  APPRENTICES 

By  Dorothy  Lee  Tompkins 

Here  is  a  common  sense  book  on  theatre,  fittingly  sub- 
titled, "A  Practical  Guide  in  AJl  Phases  of  Theatre."  Miss 
Tompkins  has  wisely  left  art  to  the  artists  and  written  a 
book  which  deals  only  with  the  practical  side  of  the  thea- 
tre. All  the  jobs  of  the  theatre  are  categorized,  from  the 
star  to  the  person  who  sells  soft  drinks  at  intermission. 
Each  job  is  defined,  and  its  basic  responsibilities  given  in 
detail.  An  invaluable  manual  for  every  theatre  group  in 
explaining  to  novices  the  duties  of  apprenticeship,  and  in 
reassessing  its  own  organizational  structure  and  functions. 

"If  you  are  an  apprentice  or  are  just  aspiring  in  any  ca- 
pacity, then  you'U  want  to  read  and  own  Dorothy  Lee 
Tompkins'  A  HANDBOOK  FOR  THEATRICAL  AP- 
PRENTICES. It  should  be  required  reading  for  any  drama 
student  anywhere  and  is  a  natural  for  the  amateur  in  any 
phase  of  the  theatre." — George  Freedley,  Morning  Tele- 
graph 

"It  would  be  helpful  if  the  HANDBOOK  FOR  THEAT- 
RICAL APPRENTICES  were  in  school  or  theatrical 
library  to  be  used  during  each  production  as  a  guide  to  aU 
participants." — Florence  E.  Hill,  Dramatics  Magazine. 


HERE'S  HOW 

A  Basic  Stagecraft  Book 


THOROUGHLY  REVISED 
AND  ENLARGED 

by  HERBERT  V.  HAKE 


COV£RINO  59  topics  on  the  essentials  of  sUgecr&ft 
(13  of  them  brand  new).  Here's  How  meets  a  very 
real  need  in  the  educational  theater.  It  gives  to  di- 
rectors and  others  concerned  with  the  technical 
aspects  of  play  production  a  complete  and  graphic 
explanation  of  ways  of  handling  fundamental  stage- 
craft problems. 

The  book  is  exceptional  on  several  counts.  It  not  only 
treats  every  topic  thoroughly,  but  does  so  in  an  easy- 
to-read  style  every  layman  can  understand.  Most  im- 
portant, it  is  prepared  in  such  a  way  that  for  every 
topic  there  is  a  facing  page  of  illustrations  (original 
drawings  and  photographs) — thus  giving  the  reader  a 
complete  graphic  presentation  of  the  topic  along  with 
the  textual  description  of  the  topic. 

Because  of  the  large  type,  the  large  size  of  the  pages 
(9"  X  12"),  and  the  flexible  metal  binding,  Here't  How 
will  lie  flat  when  opened  and  can  be  laid  on  a  work- 
bench for  a  director  to  read  while  in  a  standing  posi- 
tion. 


for  Tournament  Use 


I 


< 
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O 


HAPPY  JOURNEY.  THE 

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RED  KEY.  THE 

STOLEN  IDENTITY 

HAN  IN  THE  BOWLER  HAT 

TWELVE  POUND  LOOK 

SUNDAY  COSTS  FIVE  PESOS 

ONE  OF  US 

SUGAR  AND  SPICE 

AFTERWARDS 

WEDDING.  A 

STOLEN  PRINCE.  THE 

LOST  PRINCESS.  THE 

TWO  CROOKS  AND  A  LADY 

SPARKiN' 

SHALL  WE  JOIN  THE  LADIES? 
OLD  LADY  SHOWS  HER  MEDALS 
MONKEY'S  PAW.  THE 
PINK  AND  PATCHES 
HELLO  OUT  THERE 
FINDERS  KEEPERS 
DEAR  DEPARTED.  THE 
CURTAIN.  THE 
DOCTOR  DECIDES.  THE 


ISBN  0  573  62550  0 


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DUKE  UNIVERSITY 


DURHAM,  NORTH  CAROLINA 
27706 


